Forget about it!
'I can't recall,' 'doesn't ring a bell,' or my personal fave, courtesy of my dad 'Do I even remember what I ate last night?' (he's constantly reinventing the english language). All of these are expressions about not remembering and this post will explore three of my most memorable 'forgetful' moments.
Story 1: Motivation is difficult to come by on any given year, never mind in the midst of a pandemic where we are all isolated from one another. This hit me hard and in particular when I was trying to write up my research proposal. People attempt to tackle a lack of motivation differently; I would say my method was somewhat unconventional. This technique was developed as I would find that more and more, I wasn’t spending my time efficiently. So, to try combat this, I started saving my research proposal document under different motivational titles, e.g., don’t quit, keep going etc. Unfortunately, these prompts were too tame and didn’t produce the desired effect. This was problematic as I had to present my teacher the proposal's progress on a weekly basis. The night before the deadline, I concocted a title where I simply had no choice but to follow the advice and meet the deadline; it worked! This title was a bit different from the others and some would say it possessed a more aggressive tone. The following day, on an online meeting, I discussed my ideas for the proposal with my tutor, everything seemed like it was going perfect. However, this was simply the calm before the storm, and mother nature was in a mood. I then shared my screen with my tutor, to show my work and ask about specifics, he began to read the document. I had completely forgotten what the document was saved as and was met by 30 seconds of laughter. My heart began to sink, all I could think was that my work was not only bad, but laughable. Then my eyes slowly traced up the screen where I realised the error of my ways, the title of the document; “Get it done you lazy turd!!”
Story 2: Summer vacations, a chance to kick back, relax and enjoy life without a single stress in the world. However, one of the trips I look back with the most fondness wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows; THAT trip to centre parcs. Centre parcs is a massive outdoorsy holiday village where you can do loads of different activities e.g., cycling, swimming, tennis etc. As with most paid places of residence, you have to book prior to rocking up to the joint. Now, this is easy enough and shouldn’t really be a problem, but boy oh boy did we make it a problem. I remember vividly, we were pulling up to the ticket booth to check-in and my dad glanced back and started counting how many children he had. He counted three, but that didn’t make sense because in his hands he only had… two. He began to shout “OPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAA, WE DON’T HAVE A TICKET FOR ANDREW, WE DON’T HAVE A TICKET…. …. ….. HIDE, HIDE, GET UNDER THE SEAT AND COVER HIM WITH CLOTHES.” Now, I’m no Olympic athlete but the way I dove under those seats, Tom Daley would have been proud.
This was my dad getting me to go under the car chair (with his words, don't worry guys, everything is fine at home)
Now, you may think that this must have been a low point for me; after 9 years on this planet my dad had finally managed to erase my existence from his memory, I was folded like a deckchair under the car’s seats and I was sharing an oxygen bubble with my brother’s bunions. You would be wrong my friend, I experienced the biggest adrenaline rush of my (9 year) life, I’m just thankful that I didn’t turn to a life of crime afterwards. In my head I had practically graduated MI5, James Bond, who dat? There’s a new sheriff in town. If you have ever questioned the power of perspective, I honestly think you can doubt no longer. Thankfully, we got through undetected and enjoyed a mostly legal stay. I’ve always found it bewildering when rappers confess their crimes on songs, I get it now, we are one and the same.
DISCLAIMER: After seeking legal advice, I have been informed that I must state that this story is wholly hypothetical and has been manufactured in an attempt to entertain, I’m sorry if this isn’t amusing to the people of Centre Parcs. However, if that doesn’t work, my name in full is Shaddy Daniel Farid (Please don’t sue me centre parcs, it wasn’t me, it was my dad).
Story 3: I was attending a party at my friend’s house, when I began to say my hellos to familiar faces and some of the less familiar faces. I proceeded to introduce myself to a young couple with a baby girl, we greeted each other but I didn’t quite catch the name of their daughter. I didn’t want to ask again because I figured it would pop up naturally in conversation and I didn’t want to create an awkward scenario (the irony). People started to join the party later and one individual (we’ll call her T), began to say, “What an adorable baby boy!” The mother of the child clearly a bit miffed responded, “No, no, it’s a baby girl, her name is Taline.” To which T tried to carry out damage limitation by responding “Oh… it’s so difficult to tell when they’re at this age.” Now, if you know me, you will know I have the unfortunate habit of laughing at inappropriate times. This whole situation took every ounce of my being not to burst out laughing and because this required the lion-share of my concentration, I did not manage to properly process the baby’s name again. I mean it was annoying, but it's not like I had misgendered the 2 year old (please don't cancel her Gen Z), besides, it’s not like I was going to be quizzed on it…
The night progressed and we all started playing a game where teammates would give you clues to help you guess celebrity names written on a piece of paper. It was finally my turn, I was prepared, pumped and determined to complete my team's comeback (we were losing by 5 celebrities and I was the deciding go). At first, it was going swell, I managed to guess 3 celebrities from 3 guesses, 40 seconds remained on the clock and it seemed God was smiling down on me. What happened next I can only describe as an unfortunate turn of fate on steroids. The next clue I got was, “It’s the name of *the couple’s* baby.” Now, I have been accused of being dramatic before, but I can 100% guarantee you, the world stopped spinning and darkness fell on that household at that exact moment. Stuttering, stammering, grasping for any combination of letters, I let out the sound “TAlizienegh.” I made sure to almost mute myself for the second half of the name so that no one would call my bluff. It seemed I had successfully blagged my way out; so I quickly blurted out “Next, we coming for that comeback”. Relief was definitely my overriding feeling, a crisis was averted, I also thought I was so slick and at that moment it felt like Michael Jackson wrote smooth criminal about me. However, defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory, the father of the child exclaimed, “WAIIT, WAIT, WAAIIT, what is her name again?” Never in my life have I ever been called out like this; I had been well and truly rumbled. People say honesty is the best policy and that is why I truthfully, tried guessing the name a second time “Taliyah.” Obviously, I just don’t know when to call it quits, as I then proceeded to guess for what felt like an eternity, before the timer ran out. I can safely say that Taline is a name I will never forget again, and that I will no longer participate in a game with individuals who don’t understand the concept (that baby aint no celebrity fool).
So, right about now, you are probably wondering what the take home message is, so here goes... It’s ok to forget the day-to-day stuff; a name, a document or even a ticket (don’t do that again tho pops). But, always remember to enjoy each moment, our time on earth is limited, make sure you cherish it! Also, FORGET any other blog you have ever read, this is the only worthwhile blog which currently exists, capeesh?
(Actually, Wandertowonder is an amazing Christian blog, couldn't recommend it enough!)
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